Gratitude kaun hai

Being thankful I can walk because my neighbour doesn't have legs makes it more morbid than you'd like to think

Humans have this weird way of thinking where we look outside of ourselves and into the lives of others to find gratitude. We find calmness in knowing we have more than others, and that should be enough for us to be grateful. And once we enter this dangerous balance that's always out of balance, we tend to realise oh wow what if they have more than what we do, should we not be grateful then?

It starts from the old dining table stories. We have to be grateful for the food in our plates, because children in Africa don't have any. This concept doesn't sit right with me. Sit toh kya, it doesn't even stand right. How does the demise of poor african's happiness translate into my gratitude miles away? I'm sure elon's children, who by the way is himself South African, are being told to grateful for having everything material in this world; even on their dining tables - do they say, you should be thankful for having a private plane to fly, when people around the world only have cars to drive?

Comparison robs the true nature of gratitude and worse, turns it into a competition. A disintegrated unbalanced lens, with less perspective and even lesser use of brain cells to decipher what gratitude actually is. To be honest, I don't think I have enough brain or even heart cells to know what it actually means to be thankful. I'm not a genius. Yet. Or a philosopher. But I am a thinker. Or atleast I'd like to think so, which btw confirms that I am thinker. It's an easier term to use. I can think of anything, doesn't have to be smart or real or factual or the truth. Which is why I prefer this term, it doesn't come with a liability to be an epiphanical guru showing the blinds a path. I'm somewhat of a half blind myself, trying to see better.

Khair, gratitude I think (no facts, just vibes) - is more of an act of exploring within the self. What makes a human happy about their own being. Human being. What they carry in themselves regardless of what the children in Africa or thar eat or even what Elon or gates or chachay ki phuppi or your 2nd grade friend or your colleague from the job you hated or the rich kid who had 7 cars or the acquaintance who always cried about living pay check to pay check has. To know and own your own blessings. Without any relevance to the other beings. The joy you radiate because of who you are as a human- even if it is only the ability to think and question.

So my humans/people/souls/friends/strangers/however you'd want to be associated with me/listeners/thinkers/lovers/heartbreakers/once in a lifetime experience - I hope you find your own self, your own light, your own questions, your own journeys - which inspires you and sometimes even tires you. I hope you see within yourselves the universe you are, complete within yourselves. On your own paths of discovery of self, of adventure, of light, of your own darkness, of your explosions - that you can trace back on lightly, gently like a cocoon spits the silk tenderly and realise how grateful and humbling your existence has been to this point and beyond. And how the universe is grateful to have you.

Side note: I do acknowledge and see all the love you send in and the emails you write back. And the casual mention on roadside cafes. Or bringing it up in conversations randomly. Hopefully i’ll find the courage and the decency to reply unawkwardly sooner.